I should show up for the little girl who lives inside of me
She watches the world from inside my eyes
And feels it when I’m touched
She is a ghost both living and dead
Hosting my adult body

I should show up for the little girl who lives inside of me

She doesn’t ask for much
All she craves is safety
And to be understood
At first I tried to listen when she screamed
When she told me she was in danger
When she banged on my rib cage bars
And clenched my pelvic floor into ruin
But I seem to never be able to
Show up for little girl who lives inside of me
The next time that she screamed
I tried to keep her safe
But we were in our own bed
And that’s the only safe haven I’ve ever known
I didn’t know where to take her
So we played pretend

I blindfolded her and told her my skin suit was a castle

Instead of a casket
I told her she was safe
In the middle of a war zone
So she wrapped herself in a white flag
And showed up to a gunfight
And I didn’t show up for the little girl inside of me
Even as the white turned to pink
Turned to red

And every man she ever loved played a part in her death

Yet there will be no eulogy
No justice, no revenge
She won’t even get an apology
Or a tombstone
Her ghost nestles in my bones

And I still refuse to show up for the little girl inside of me

Because I would disappear with her